“6 + 3 = 9, but so does 5 + 4. The way you do things isn’t always the only way to do them. Respect other people’s way of thinking.”
In our everyday lives — whether at work, in relationships, or in communities — we often assume that the way we see things is the correct or only way. But the reality is, there are usually multiple valid approaches to solving a problem or achieving a goal.
The simple math equation 6 + 3 = 9, but so does 5 + 4, reminds us that different paths can lead to the same outcome. It’s not always about my way or your way — it’s about finding understanding.
My Personal Experience: Asking to Understand Perspectives
Throughout my leadership journey, I’ve developed a habit of asking people in different ways to uncover their thinking.
When someone takes an approach I don’t immediately agree with, instead of dismissing it, I often ask:
- “What made you choose this way?”
- “What was your thought process behind this?”
- “Is there a challenge you are solving that I might not be seeing?”
Sometimes I get surprising, creative answers that genuinely broaden my thinking. Other times, I discover that someone has overlooked an impact, and that’s okay too. I’ve learned that while different perspectives can occasionally lead to negative or risky outcomes, it’s important to first understand before you correct.
I believe that even when things go wrong, our first attempt should be to find the positive. Instead of focusing on blame, I try to coach the person toward improvement by understanding why they made the choice they did.
Real-Life Example:
In a project, a team member once insisted on using a manual data entry method instead of an automated script. Initially, this seemed like a waste of time. But when I asked why, I learned that the automation tools were restricted due to client security policies, and this manual workaround was the only feasible solution within the deadline.
Another time, I saw a team handling a client escalation in a way I considered too passive. When I explored their reasoning, I found out they were prioritizing a long-term relationship and avoiding a confrontational approach, even if it meant absorbing some short-term discomfort. Their perspective made sense when I stepped back.
Did their choices impact timelines or delivery? Yes, sometimes. But I realized that shutting down their methods would have demotivated them and damaged trust. Instead, we worked together to find ways to minimize the negative impact and make the best out of the situation.
Why Understanding Different Perspectives Matters
When you pause to explore someone else’s view:
- You build empathy.
- You discover creative alternatives.
- You strengthen trust and collaboration.
- You reduce misunderstandings and unnecessary conflicts.
When you don’t? You risk limiting growth — both yours and your team’s.
Practical Tips to Embrace Others’ Thinking
- Pause Before Judging: Give people space to explain why.
- Ask the Right Questions: Approach conversations with curiosity, not accusation.
- Be Open to Being Wrong: You might not have all the answers.
- Accept Imperfections: Not every different perspective will be perfect, but perfection isn’t always the goal.
- Seek the Positive: Even in flawed thinking, there’s usually something valuable to build upon.
Final Thoughts
The next time someone proposes a different approach, don’t just focus on what’s wrong. Start by asking what’s right about it.
Remember:
6 + 3 equals 9, but so does 5 + 4.
Different routes, same result.
When we accept this, we grow not just as leaders, but as compassionate human beings.