As leaders, mentors, or colleagues, we often feel the urge to share knowledge, motivate others, and transfer experiences. While the intent is always good, the outcome sometimes doesn’t match. Why? Because every team member has a different capacity to absorb, process, and apply what we’re sharing.
Imagine this: You spend an hour sharing valuable insights, but the person in front of you is only in the right state of mind to receive 20% of it. The other 80%—no matter how valuable—goes unabsorbed. This isn’t a failure of your teaching, nor of their learning. It’s simply about timing, readiness, and capacity.
Why Capacity Matters
- Mental bandwidth: A stressed or overworked team member cannot fully absorb new knowledge.
- Learning style: Some people learn best through listening, others through doing, and others through observing.
- Motivation cycle: Not every individual is in a receiving state all the time.
- Emotional state: Personal or professional distractions can reduce capacity drastically.
Understanding this helps us avoid frustration, prevent knowledge wastage, and build stronger trust with our team.
Tips for Observing Team Members’ Capacity
- Watch for signals
Pay attention to body language, facial expressions, and engagement levels. If someone looks overwhelmed, it’s better to pause and revisit later. - Ask simple check-ins
Before diving deep, ask: “How’s your current bandwidth?” or “Do you feel ready to discuss this?”. This shows respect for their state. - Break into chunks
Share information in small, digestible parts rather than overloading in one go. People retain more when content is broken down. - Use two-way sharing
Encourage questions, examples, or reflections. This turns passive listening into active learning. - Match content with relevance
Share what’s immediately useful for them. Knowledge feels lighter when it connects with their real challenges. - Allow pauses and reflection
Sometimes, the best way to teach is to give space. Let team members sit with an idea and come back later with questions.
How to Be the Best Mentor
- Be empathetic, not imposing: Your role isn’t to push everything you know but to guide them at their own pace.
- Tailor your mentoring: Just like good doctors prescribe based on patient needs, good mentors “prescribe” based on mentee capacity.
- Build trust first: A team member who feels safe will open up about their struggles, making mentoring more effective.
- Celebrate small wins: Even if they absorb 20%, encourage them to use it. Gradually, their capacity increases.
- Practice patience: Mentorship is a journey, not a one-time download of wisdom.
Key Takeaway
Being a mentor isn’t about how much you share—it’s about how much the other person can meaningfully receive and apply. The best mentors observe, adapt, and respect individual capacity, ensuring that no effort is wasted and every piece of guidance lands at the right time.
Question for you:
When was the last time you adjusted your mentoring style because you noticed your team member wasn’t in a full receiving state?